This pattern of gendered socialization continues throughout our lives. As a result, men and women often interpret the same conversation differently. Culturally diverse ways of speaking can cause miscommunication between members of each culture or speech community. These cultural differences are seen in the simple purpose of communication. For those socialized in a feminine community, the purpose of communication is to create and foster relational connections with other people Johnson; Stamou.
This is done in a number of ways such as indicating independence, showing control, and entertaining or performing for others. Although our previous discussion of feminist movements for women and men indicates that gender roles are changing, traditional roles still influence our communication behaviors.
Because men have traditionally been expected to work outside the home to provide financial support for the family, they need to demonstrate their individual competence as this is often the criterion for raises and promotions.
Conversely, because women have been expected to work inside the home to provide childcare, household duties, and other social functions the need to create interpersonal bonds is crucial. Thus, it is important to understand the cultural reasons and pressures for the differences in communication, rather than judge one against the other devoid of context.
One way to think of gender communication is in terms of co-cultures or speech communities. Muted group theory Kramerae explains the societal differentiation of gender and its corresponding language development. This develops on two levels:. Thus, when discussing patterns of talk we conceptualize them as occurring in different speech communities or co-cultures based on historical, cultural and economic expectations of a given co-culture. For the different genders, we develop different patterns of talk based on expectations placed on us.
When cultures have different goals for their communication, this results in unique communication strategies and behaviors. Showing equity in conversation means showing that you are similar to others. Have you ever felt as if you were the one in the conversation who had to keep the conversation moving? This is conversational maintenance at work.
This work is performed by asking questions and trying to elicit responses from others. When listening to others we often respond in various ways to show that we are attentive and that we care about what the other person is saying.
A professor explaining the stages of friendship development might supplement the model with how a particular friendship developed in their life. The final quality, tentativeness, involves a number of strategies and has invoked a multiplicity of interpretations. Turning statements into questions is another way of showing tentativeness. This is done with tag questions or intonation. Tag questions are phrases tacked onto the end of a sentence.
As you read the types of tentativeness, what were your reactions? How do you feel when someone communicates this way? Generally, scholars have offered four explanations for tentativeness. First, is that this style represents a lack of power, self-confidence, or assuredness on the part of the speaker. Wood theorized that tentativeness is a strategy to maintain communication and connection.
A final interpretation is that to understand tentativeness we must examine the context in which such speech occurs. The relative power between two speakers may cause the one with less power to communicate tentatively to the other. Do you use markers of tentativeness when speaking with those in power such as your boss, teachers, or parents? When the goal is independence, members of this speech community are likely to communicate in ways that exhibit knowledge, refrain from personal disclosure, are abstract, are focused on instrumentality, demonstrate conversational command, are direct and assertive, and are less responsive.
Showing knowledge in conversation gives speakers the opportunity to present themselves as competent and capable. The next two features—minimal personal disclosure and abstractness—are related.
When we refrain from personal disclosure we reveal minimal or no personal information. Likewise, when we speak in less personal terms our conversation tends to become more abstract.
Think back to the traditional roles for men and women for a moment. Since men typically have been more involved in the public rather than the private sphere, it makes sense that their communication would be more abstract and less personal. A masculine communication style tends to be focused on instrumental tasks. This is particularly true in the case of same sex friendships.
It is used to accomplish something. Take baseball or football, for example. The talk that is used in these activities is strategic. In the case of male friendships it is more likely that men will get together to do something. Whether the activity is rock climbing, going to lunch, or helping someone move, the conversation is instigated by a particular activity. Conversational command refers to the ability to control or manage conversation.
This can be done by controlling which topics are discussed, interrupting, or being the one to control the turn taking in conversation. A popular stereotype is that women talk a lot, but most research shows that men talk more than women. More talk time is another way to demonstrate conversational command. These styles can reflect the general linguistic behaviour of women and men in conversation.
While women are said to prefer a high-involvement style, men might prefer a high- considerateness style.
However, we need to keep in mind that stereotypes are at work here and that we need to question generalist assumptions. Tannen's two types of conversational style differ from each other mainly in terms of rate of speech pace , length of inter- and intraturn pauses, and occurrence and evaluation of simultaneous speech:.
Cooperative overlaps and collaborative floors have no competitive character; they are valued as a means of expressing group membership and solidarity with and support for other speakers. Using language in order to express group membership, solidarity and close relationships between the participants to a conversation, women typically engage in what Deborah Tannen has described as rapport talk in which simultaneous speech is used to build relationships or rapports.
Of course a listener should be quiet! Of course a listener should talk along to show enthusiasm and involvement! Both styles make sense, each in its own way. Talking across styles is all the more difficult because each style fosters its own capabilities. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher. Office Life. Ladders Contributor. Related Stories:.
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